The world crashes in, into my living room

I love television…

Well, I love watching television…I really don’t remember the last time that I made time to follow episodes of a popular television show…here are the main currently in-production shows that I watch on a regular basis (that is, if they’re on, I’ll watch):

Good Eats
MythBusters
Penn & Teller: Bullshit!
The Soup
Modern Marvels
(depends on what they’re marveling at, though)
Ace Of Cakes
Jeopardy!
Travel Channel specials about Disney parks
SpongeBob SquarePants

For someone who claims to love watching television, that doesn’t seem like a lot (even though SpongeBob seems to be on at every hour of the day on one channel or another)…so, in the average 6 hours and 47 minutes that any given television in my house is on, what is being watched if isn’t new?…

We recently got digital cable…that means that we have a billion more channels with nothing on…there are a few interesting things to explore in the On Demand section aside from archived episodes of the aforementioned shows…one of those is Something Weird, a seemingly endless collection of school scare films, drive-in preview reels and D-grade horror and erotica films from the real ‘grindhouses’…there are also a few music-related channels, including an archive of Later…with Jools Holland (though that can be hit ot miss depending on who’s on)…

The shows I mentioned above are, as I said, all still in current production…of course, some of my favorite shows have been out of production for many years, namely The Twilight Zone, M*A*S*H, and countless cartoons from my childhood and before…there are also plenty of shows from my childhood that were on various channels when we first got digital, but have since be removed in favor of programming for “‘tweens,” a demographic that didn’t even have a name when I was a kid…

As most people my age did, I grew up with the classic early-’90s programming of Nickelodeon…shows like What Would You Do?, Legends Of The Hidden Temple, and pre-SpongeBob Nicktoons (even though SpongeBob has been on since 1999, it’s in a way different school than Doug and Rocko’s Modern Life)…I recently saw a commercial for an updated version of GUTS, with entire families competing…I guess they figure that no one who watched the original GUTS would be watching whatever channel they decide to air the new version on, and are reworking everything but the Aggro-Crag…I felt the same sort of pop culture violation when Disney unveiled Brand Spanking New Doug or when Nick decided to have the Rugrats “grow up”…

You have gathered by now that I don’t watch any episodic dramas, comedies, dramedies or other…when we went on the tour of Warner Brothers Studios, our tour guide frequently asked out loud, “Who here is a fan of (insert current popular TV show),” to which there were a few cheers, but Mom, Dad and I just exchanged blank looks…I guess I just don’t want to be bothered to make sure I see an episode so as not to be missing out and fall victim to spoilers, or it’s that I have little to no interest in any of the shows that are out there…I think the last show I watched that had something resembling an episode to episode story was Monk, which got repetitive after the first season, so I stopped watching…

One of the shows I listed above is The Soup, the new version of Talk Soup with an expanded focus on reality television…I really don’t like reality television…the only time I watched a reality TV program on purpose was when I watched America’s Got Talent (the most generously-named show in history) to see

for the fifteen seconds he was on…the rest was unbearable…I would say that I don’t know how anyone can watch that, but I offer that anyone that watches an entire season of it has more strength than I do, and I salute you…

I really don’t see my TV-watching habits changing…my household has been picked as a Nielsen family twice (back when we still had to fill out paper diaries), and I can only imagine how totally useless our data was…”Well, I just don’t think they know that there are channels that show more than just reruns of Bewitched and The Munsters.”…of course, my habits could change very easily and quickly if more programs were like the one I stumbled across on Friday night: Animal Planet’s Puppy Games…if you’ve never seen it, watch it as soon as you can before they’re done showing it (it was originally running opposite the broadcasts of the Olympics)…it’s pure genius…

Perhaps it’s that I’m so focused on the radio and music industries that television has taken a bit of hiatus from my attention…In the past, I probably could have seen my TV as a companion, as a source of both entertainment and information…Now, though, I really don’t see it as anything more than an appliance…the difference being that I generally have an easier time swallowing things that come out of my toaster oven and microwave than my TV…

E.

Lyric of the Time:
Television, I’m so sorry
If I turned you off back there
I’m so small in your dimension
My kid will look like you, I swear

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~ by E. on August 26, 2008.

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